Why should you upgrade your beliefs?

Did you realise that unless you upgrade your beliefs, you are actually making choices as an adult from a child’s understanding of the world? 

Beliefs are formed in childhood and if they go unchallenged into adulthood then the things you want as an adult often get stuck, put on hold or procrastinated upon, because you grew up but your subconscious mind which records and stores your beliefs, didn’t.

Let’s face it – no-one’s parents are perfect, self-realised, conscious beings and so we grow up often with a limited idea of ourselves and what we’re capable of. And yet as adults our conscious mind wants all the good stuff that life has to offer and we try to go after these things but there seems to be an invisible chord holding us back from what we know is meant for us.

So an internal battle begins – one step forward, one step back battle – between what you consciously want for yourself (one step forward) and what your over-protective subconscious mind will allow you to do in order to keep you “safe” (one step back).

Now, just to be clear – there is nothing wrong with you! This is so very very common in all areas of life – whether it’s finding the perfect relationship,  your ideal job, successful business or health and vitality. It doesn’t matter what the subject is, what matters are the foundational beliefs you hold – and everyone has them. 

Even millionaires. Even billionaires! They might have great beliefs about money and success, but try taking a look at other areas of their lives and you will often see where they have beliefs where they aren’t as well equipped for relationships, health or happiness.

You see we all have dodgy beliefs – because we didn’t choose them. They were handed down by others (you inherited them, you didn’t choose them). You think they are your beliefs because you may never have questioned where they came from, but unless as an adult you have done the work to change the beliefs you picked up from childhood, then you’re just living out the life of someone else’s beliefs. 

Ouch. Did that hurt? 

Does it seem a bit harsh? Yeah.. I know… That’s because this truth is quite brutal sometimes. We all want to believe that we’re living our own lives. We’re all independent and have formed our own ideas. Sorry, but that’s just a comfortable lie we tell ourselves. But it’s not true usually. 

(If you’ve ever heard yourself say in shock, “Oh my god, I sound just like my mum/dad then!” then you will already recognise how we’re just repeating someone else’s patterns and words if we don’t actively, consciously change them).

Your beliefs are formed from 0-7 years old. Beliefs are just thoughts which are reinforced over time through experiences. From 0-7 yrs old you’re basically unconscious as a child. You’re in “record” mode (your subconscious mind is set to RECORD) as you need to learn about the world in order to function within it. You don’t really question much and even if you do question them, you’re often powerless to change or choose. So we record all our experiences in order to create our worldview and how to navigate it safely.

Things which affect our world-view during record mode (NB it records everything – not just the verbal stuff)

  1. Early years secure or insecure attachment (parental care) have a huge impact on your beliefs
  2. There are a lot of environmental factors which affect your beliefs your experiences within your environment have a big impact on your beliefs (such as what stressed your parents out as adults)
  3. What your parents and siblings say to you
  4. What other adults say to you
  5. What you hear other adults say to each other and about you
  6. Sometimes it’s not even what someone says but their facial expression or laughter or anger/ someone’s emotions can affect your beliefs
  7. What books you read
  8. What you watch
  9. What you sang along to


You are trying to make sense of a world with unwritten rules – from 0-7 you have to follow the rules.

From 7 years onwards we start to make conscious choices, we have a set of beliefs based on our experiences but although we have more choices we’re still restricted and we can’t exert the power of choice in any way that would change the recorded beliefs.

You grow up and navigate the world based on what you know about the rules of life as you were taught it. Life becomes busy and it’s really too complicated to really question what you believe. 

Until that is one day, you realise that you want something with all your heart but you don’t seem to be able to get it and you don’t understand why because you thought you were following the rules you had learnt.

The reason you can’t get what you want has got nothing to do with your capabilities, it’s got nothing to do with your talents or skills – it’s just that your beliefs about what you can have are different to what you want.

It’s at this point, if we’re lucky we realise that we want something in life and there should be no good reason why we can’t have it! With the exception of forcing another to behave in a way you want, everything else is possible in life. And yet, it feels like everything you try fails. Every effort you make falls short. That’s when you start to question WHY?

The simple answer is that your subconscious is running a different programme to the new thing you want and so if you want to remove the barriers to getting what you want you to investigate and then upgrade your beliefs so that they match what you want, there is less in the way of you getting what you want.

You can change your beliefs quickly and quite easily when you know how. The problem is, not a lot of people know how! Most people assume you have to spend hours in some form of talking therapy to resolve your feelings. Well you can. But that’s the super long way around because the mind has only 3 functions: Record, Protect and Do. And the reason it won’t allow you to have what you say you want is that it believes that your beliefs are protecting you from failure, unhappiness, disappointment etc, so it doesn’t want you to change your beliefs. 

So in order to protect you – if you choose a talking therapy – your mind can keep you telling stories and telling your therapist stories for years and years. It will keep you safe, by keeping you trapped by going over and over stories as to why you can’t have what you want. It will throw every distraction it can think of, to avoid changing its beliefs. 

Which is why – you have to avoid the stories, the concepts, the distractions and speak directly with the subconscious mind. And get it to understand that the beliefs you are holding are not for your highest good and you will be surprised at how willing the mind is to change once it understands the truth of what you want. 

Changing the subconscious mind is a skill; it requires high vibration, trust and an understanding of how to switch your mind to take your side not fight you. But with this it’s amazing how quickly the mind can become your friend, coach and ally and not your enemy.

You don’t have to do battle with your mind. It’s more open to the truth then you may realise.


If you have a suspicion that your beliefs are holding you back from what you want, you might want to consider 1-2-1 sessions with Sharon?

You can arrange a Free Consultation Call by clicking here to see how Sharon works directly with your subconscious mind.

Or go ahead and book a session and see for yourself what is possible!  https://youdeservebetter.co.uk/product/upgrade-your-beliefs/

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